Aslan's Asskickers v. Little Damn Stunties : Winter Death Cup Finals

 Bob:  "I can't believe the Blood Bowl season is already over!"

Jim: "How so Bob?  It is the Winter League after all, and we're well on into Spring! I should know, we're having far too many Very Sunny days for my complexion." 

Bob: "If I had my way, there'd never be an end to Blood Bowl!  You just don't find a finer display of the violent arts than this Jim."

Jim:  "On that we agree Bob!  And this season has been particularly bloody! So much deaths and maiming!
The fans have really been getting their money's worth!"


Bob: "Oh I think we should see a lot more of that today.  A Cup championship really gets the blood flowing."
Jim:  "I should hope so Bob!  Nothing wets the whistle on a hot day like flowing blood.  Which reminds me, while they toss the coin I'm going to get me a Bloodweiser Bob."

Bob:  "Oh! Get me a barrel of that too."

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And so we come to the last game of the season, for the Cup championship. Looking back at it, I've made it to the last three League Championship matches: My Chaos Dwarves (Vulcan's Hammers) vs Lizardmen (a loss), my Underworld (Chernobyl Knights) vs Chaos Dwarves (a win) & now my Chaos Pact (Aslan's Asskickers) vs ChaosDwarves. Can you tell this league really seems to favor Chaos Dwarves? 

The Little Damn Stunties are pretty well developed.  The team has a Minotaur with Break Tackle, 2 Dwarves with Guard, a Centaur with Block and the other Centaur with Block, Break Tackle, and Sure Hands, and one of the three Hobgoblins has block. His team had a spare Hobgoblin and 3 rerolls.

Pregame: 

I had 60k for inducements, so I got a Bloodweiser Babe: the only real choice, and I figured I might need her: chaos dwarves tend to bash you a lot. More fans showed up for my team so I got +1 fame, and I even won the coin toss, so I elected to receive. He's tough, but in the battle of brute force I felt I was better off taking the first swing. 

Turn 1: First block I throw I break armor and stun a dwarf... I like how this is starting out!

I declare a block with Ursula the Bear: 1: Bone-head.  Well, it happens... Declare a blitz with Blitzen the Elk: 1! Wild Animal... yeah... it happens.. but two 1's in a row? Maybe I'm not liking how this is starting out. 

I use these colored markers for the big guys, since they're too big to lay down: 

red for stun, yellow for down, green is up but no tackle-zone: bone head/stupid.

Turn 2: The Bear goes Bone-Head again!  Sheesh! What about the Boar? He rolls a 1 too! Stupid Pig.

But not the Elk, he passes his wild animal roll and blitzes the centaur: Double Skull! Yeah, really. I risk it: reroll! I pass my loner test, but get a skull & both down.. since the centaur has block and the elk doesn't, the elk goes down: breaks armor and is knocked out!  I've already changed out the dice through this, but the new ones are just as bad. 

My thrower, Mr. Hodgensworth stays back in safety, looking for someone to get open, but he feels like he's watching the three stooges with all these guys going stupid and hurting themselves!

Turn 3 and the dwarves injure my faun with claw... No way... too early and he's too needed... it's just a badly hurt, so I use my apothecary and he takes the bench. I worry about that choice, but I need that claw.

The Holstein tries to dodge around Tadd Pohl, the frog, to get at my thrower, but trips on the long frog legs!

He needs a 3, but rolls 2: reroll? 2. 

Good Job Tadd!

Turn 5 I call a blitz with the Bear, finally I don't get a 1 and Bone Head, but result of the block?

What else? I needed him there, to knock & push the dwarf, tie up the other, but no such luck... too important so I try a reoll, but I roll a 1 and fail the loner, so it stands. 

In return he knocks out another of my fauns. 

Now he has his chance... the Holstein scrambles to his feet and declares a blitz on my thrower.. makes his dodge away from the frog, makes 3 Go For Its: rolls the block dice: Push!  (Yes!) My Thrower has agility 4, so I know I can just dodge away easily next turn, he knows it too, so he rerolls his blitz:

Wow! That's the reward for pushing your luck!  Still has a way to go before he catches up to my bad luck, but nice to see him trying! 

The Bear had gone to tie up two dwarves and I dodged my elf out to be clear to catch the ball..I dodge out with Mr. Hodgensworth, declaring a passing action: 

I throw: 1! A Fumble? Noooooo!  I reroll: 1!  Aslan!  Why have you forsaken us? 

I'm pretty sure at this point 50% or more of my die rolls have been 1 (or Skull: same thing).

This isn't good.  Know what's worse? After fumbling a clear pass, you see this guy barreling down on you:

But the Minotaur rolls both down.. he loners the reroll and is fine: gets a push, frenzy: knocks my faun down & stuns him. Dang. 

The Hobgoblin tries to pick it up, but fails, no reroll left, so it squirts free. 

I'm running out of players. The only thing I can do is have Jennifer Cricket come back and get the ball herself, which she does, but what then? There are 2 hobgoblins, a dwarf and a minotaur nearby, so she throws it downfield.  At least the ball will be where I want it to be, maybe I can get it later. 

At least he wasn't in a good position to get it.  Or so I thought!  A dwarf double Goes For It, actually picks up the ball, throws it, but it goes inaccurate and lands between them. 

The Bear Blitzes the Hobgoblin, but nothing happens, next turn, he's blitzed, pushed out and the fans knock him out!

The Half Ends 0-0, but I have 4 in the knock out box and I haven't done any damage of any kind to him. 

I manage to get all but the Elk back onto the field, so I'll have 10 players on the field.  Could have used the elk too.. then again, considering the performance in the first half, it might not be such a big deal.

I set up to kick.  With 0-0, one of my strong players in the knock outbox and him having possession, it's not a great situation: I have to stop him and steal the ball to score, without leaving him time to score again. 

The kick goes shallow.  Not too bad. 

He tried to pick up the ball, but failed and it landed in two tackle zones.

I see a chance, I take it.  Mr. Hodgensworth, with Agility 4 and Sure Hands has a 75% chance to pick up the ball, then can dodge out on a 2+.. not bad at all. I try it: fail to pick up the ball: reroll? no.  *sigh*

Well, we both failed a 75% chance to pick up the ball that time. There must be a curse on this field.

Then the dwarf hits Hodgensworth and Knocks Him Out! That's bad! and now the ball is in the open.

He scoops it up this time with the Holstein, and drives down field. 

I send a faun to try to slow him down, needing to Go For It to make contact. I roll ... what do you think?

A 1!  Reroll? 1! The armor roll? double 1! Him rolling 1s against my armor is good for me, just funny with all these 1's shooting about.

That leaves his ball carrier clear.  He decides not to tempt the bad luck that seems so strong, and he scores.

Score is now 0-1 at Turn 3.  There is still time, but I have a long haul to tie & then to win. 

At least all my Knock Outs do come back. I set up to receive. 

Blitzen sets his sights on a weaker target: he declares a blitz against the unskilled Hobgoblin!

He knocks the Hobgoblin out!  And continues on to contact the Holstein.  My bruising line also stuns two dwarves. 

Turn 4 sees the opponents enjoy a bit of the 1's as well, he makes a Go For It with his Hobgoblin and get's the 1 Reroll: 1 that is always popular.  

With the ball in hand I make a Go For It to hand it off to Jennifer Cricket, and I get a 1! Reroll? 1! 

My string of bad dice luck must have felt threatened by the opponent trying to get some bad luck too!

Luckily the ball was safe from his greedy hands, so the next turn I tried a short pass:

2 Reroll: 2: still inaccurate! I have 4 rerolls, but I couldn't tell you why. They don't do anything. 

His Minotaur fails his wild animal roll, but his centaurs get up and challenge my attempt to get the ball.

I'll never get that ball where it is with 3 tackle zones on it...

My best bet seems to be to Blitz the Centaur with the Elk, knock him down onto or push him onto the ball,

which I manage to do, but he rolls a 6 and picks up the ball! Impressive, but not good for me!

To make room, the Bear hits the Mino for a 1 die block (pretty safe:I have Block he doesn't)

but I roll a skull and I've already used a reroll that turn. 

Next the Ferret wrestles the ball carrier down, and the ball squirts free, but into 2 tackle zones where I can't get it.  The Holstein does get it, and runs with it.  Makes 3 Go For Its to gain ground, but the last of them is 1: Reroll: 1.  

I have a slim hope left.  I have to dodge with my unskilled faun, pick up the ball, throw long to the elf, who can then score to tie it up.  

So Mr. Cornelius II dodges: 2 (need a 3) Reroll: 1. He goes down. 

You can see the field for the play I had in mind:

Wasn't a great chance, but if I can't make the first action with an 8/9 chance of success the rest wouldn't have worked either ;) Mr.Cornelius II stunned himself, and I had no further chance to get the ball.

The game ended 0-1 with the Cup going to the Little Damn Stunties. Congrats to them! 

Spectator and Star in his own right, Soaren Hightower was in the stands for the match and Kabal News quoted him as saying "I've never seen such pathetic players in all my life. I can't believe they get paid." 

We couldn't agree more. 

Despite my difficulty in rolling anything higher than a 1, I quite like the Chaos Pact team. It's not the greatest for sure, but it has a lot of potential, with three big guys and all the skill access.  It would be fun if we had longer leagues or brought teams back for multiple seasons to see what the team would be like with some more development.

The next league won't be until Autumn I imagine. I don't know what team I'll play yet- thinking about High Elves, maybe Pro Elves, maybe Skaven.. something faster and more agile since I've been playing more hitting teams lately. Although I had an idea for minis for a themed Nurgle team.. and also a Chaos team. 

Guess we'll see.