Top 10 Monsters of the Movies: Not-Giant Edition

Well I had a lot of fun with the last update of Top 10 Giant Monsters of the Movies, and since the Scattergunner blasted away with a list of favorite not-giant movies, I was inspired to do likewise.

It can be a real head-scratching challenge to make such lists, but it's fun.
In fact, I have 2 other theme-lists that will see their place soon too.

So for this one, a list of monsters that are not giant..could range in size from less than human-sized to big but still fitting in your living room.  Like the Giant Monster list, I think I'll stipulate that they must be biological creatures, not mechanical.

Here we go:

#10: Gollum

More than capable of giving you the willies and when camping and traveling with him, you're going to be fearing falling asleep first, and that he might borrow your toothbrush.  Great monster, but with such a like-able streak he can't climb higher than 10, but he had to be on the list.

#9: Gremlins

The pet that goes from adorable friend to town-wrecking maniacs: just add water. Freaky, but also very fun.

#8: Werewolf / Wolfman

A great monster concept with a long history.  Has great potential for a monster, the problem he has is quality control: you never know what you're going to get.  The best have slow, painful transitions you can feel in your bones.  They lose control of their will and are a danger to those around them, even those they love. But you could get a lame monster that transforms in the blink of an eye and breaking all laws of physics: triples it's mass, being far larger than a man or a wolf.. combined. And really, they give wolves a bad name... if they're dangerous killers it's because of their man-half, not their wolf-half. But for all that, still pretty cool.

#7: Medusa

Combination monsters are a classic.  This one combines the scary nature of snakes with the terrifying threat of a woman upset she's having a bad hair day.  Just one look and you're a statue. Making you afraid to do the simplest things that are uncontrollable instincts is a very scary circumstance.  Clash of the Titan's Medusa also benefits from what is probably Ray Harryhausen's best work.

#6: Pale-Man

Damn but that thing is creepy.  Easily the stuff of nightmares. If he didn't come from your nightmare he'll sure find a home there.

#5: Nazgul

Chilling in the books, equally so in the films.  Nazgul, or Ringwraiths, benefit from over a millennium of iconic images of Death itself. When a Nazgul hunts you, it is death, but no easy release: it's looking to make Frodo a lesser version of itself. If that's not a fate to be feared I don't know what is.  The absence of substance, the shrieks, the haunted whispering voices.. yep:scary monster.

#4: Apes

"A Planet Where Apes Evolve From Men?" Payback's a bitch.
If you've followed this blog for awhile it's no surprise I love apes.  I've loved all the Planet of the Apes movies. This concept just captures me, pun intended.  A lot of monster movies hinge on turning the tables on humanity for the food chain.  This takes that one step further: we lose our place in the civilization chain.
It's our turn to be the captured and endangered species: hunted, caged, considered expendable animals.
The recent cgi apes were great, but Roddy McDowell was brilliant, and no less so was Tim Roth.

#3: The Thing

A nearly unkillable creature that could be anyone or any living thing around you... until it busts apart in a gut wrenching nauseating display and proceeds to eat you. Equal parts scary and disgusting.

#2: Xenomorph Aliens

The top of the Space-Monsters: Alien. The amazing vision of Giger in full life.  Maybe the scariest monster.
Knock us right off the top of the food-chain and back down to buffet bar. If that wasn't bad enough we're also it's preferred incubator for it's babies.  Great.  Bullet resistant, claws and teeth like titanium, shockingly fast and strong, oh, and acid for blood. Way to make a species feel like we're getting picked last for Galactic Dodgeball...thanks a lot.

#1:Vampires

Best of the classic, constantly being reinvented, and usually with good results (sparkling vamps need not apply).  From the nasty Nosferatu to the dashing Lugosi Dracula, the refined but don't-piss-me-off Lee, to the sexy Beckensale patent leather to even sexier Jessica. Vampires take the first place for several reasons:
1. Versatility: a wide variety of types to either scare or entice
2. Walking history: Old vampires have seen the past because they lived it.  Their knowledge and experience is greater than our own. They hold secrets, and we want to know them.
3. The double-edged sword of immortality. Vampires offer the chance to escape death, at a price. That exchange is interesting and fascinating. The question of what defines our humanity and how far are we willing to go in exchanging it for what we want?

What are your Top 10?

Enjoy!

Top 10 Giant Monsters of the Movies

There are so many Giant Movie Monsters that it is very difficult to pick my 'top 10' but when I saw Michael May declare his favorite 10, which included 3 other bloggers listing theirs (that is, his blog post includes links to theirs, not that he included the 3 bloggers as his favorite monsters), I decided I had to determine what mine would be too.

It wasn't easy.

It doesn't have to be Japanese Movie Monsters, though they certainly have made a lot of them, but May decided it shouldn't include robots & machines, and that makes sense to me to put them in a different category too. So only biological creatures: check.

And here we go.

10: Smaug

The greedy talking dragon from the animated version of Tolkien's The Hobbit.  The treasure room scene was creepy, the fire was fun, though his death scene was a bit anti-climactic. Once we see this monster in the upcoming live action films, I suspect (and hope) Smaug will rocket up the list. 

9: The Ants of Them! 

Insects give a lot of people the willies.. giant insects even more. The methodical, merciless nature of ants makes for a great monster. They outnumber us, they are better organized and when they're the size of a semi-truck we're doomed. 

8: Cyclops 

Maybe my favorite Harryhausen giant monster.  Even more than the Kraken.  Why?  He's not as big, but he's less constrained. You have a very real sense that you can't just run away from this guy. He feels more real to me as well. A great giant monster, even if not in the 'colossal' size group. 

7: Godzilla

How did Godzilla, icon of monsters get down to #7?  Yeah, it surprised me too. He is iconic, and I do love Godzilla, but he's suffering from his popularity. His character and nature has been so varied it's starting to hurt him I think.  Is he here to destroy the city or save it? He seems to suffer from multiple personality disorder.. which might make for a scarier monster, but this identity crisis I think is working against him. 

Now.. there is a new Godzilla movie coming out next year... this could be his time to redefine himself more clearly.

6:  Troll, The Hunted. 

I loved these.  Bring a bit of magic and wonder back to our jaded boring 21st Century.  Trolls are alive and well but the government thinks you'd be better off not knowing it... still someone has to man the parks & troll-life department!  The Trolls were great in Troll Hunter, bringing the legendary art style to life.  Lots of fun Troll-Lore in the film too, which just added to the fun. 

5: Gamera

He may not have as lucrative signing deals as Godzilla, but I think he's a better monster.  Why?  He's a turtle. Poor turtles are thought of as slow, gentle, rocks that move.  He's bucking those labels. He's from space, he flies, he spins, he shoots fire energy. Way to go Gamera!

4: Ents

Who says monsters have to be evil? OK, they did say they are not on anyone's side.. but they're pretty clearly co-aligned with the side of good's immediate needs when they leave Fangorn and wreck Isengard to rubble! What a great concept for a monster: a people that are trees, protecting nature because they are nature.  2,000 years of erosion in a 2 day siege. Awesome. 

3: Giant Squid at 2,000 Leagues Under the Sea

This is one scary monster! For starters it's almost like 10 monsters in one.. plus a nasty beak-mouth when those are done with you! Wet & slimy with a grip of death.  Add to this, it's environment is deadly to people, so it's twice as scary: you have no where to run, you are in it's world. 

2: Creatures in the Mist

The climax monster of a film filled with amazing monsters.  The Mist is a movie I reviewed last December. 

I thought it was brilliant.  The concept is interesting, intelligent and terrifying. This last creature is an amazing concept and shows the degree to which the other world is not one we want coming here to stay. The slow, casual gait of this thing as it strolls by in it's complete alien nature slammed me with a feeling of awe and "I want to know more.. tell me everything about it's world." That's a sign of a great monster!

1: King Kong

Maybe predictable, but the King is the king.  

It's not because he's been great in every incarnation.  It's not even that he's remained more consistently himself in every incarnation (sorry Gz!) It's not even that he's one tough primate taking on two of these T-Rex's! Sure, it's all of those things, but what makes him the best monster to my thinking is that he is us.  He is the monster that you can most empathize with because he is us.  Anyone of us could be King Kong, or if pushed to it, we hope we will be. 

King Kong is mistreated. He is misunderstood.  He is labeled a monster and so treated as one.  But he stays true to who he is.  He can dish it out with the best of the monsters, but he doesn't want to, it isn't his goal. It's only when he's pushed into a corner, when he has to defend those he loves.  He is vilified, used and abused by the society that is in fact stronger than him.  And in the end, it defeats him, but it does not break him. 

We might all face such challenges at some time, some of us more than others.  We recognize the injustice, we are impressed with his stoic determination. The pathos King Kong commands of the audience can not be matched by any other monster. 

King Kong shows us that we all could be labeled a monster, and how to handle it if we are. 

So there can be no greater monster than the monster that isn't. 

But the gods demand their due, so Enjoy on behalf of Godzilla:

Step Right Up! The Cure For What Ails You For The Low Cost Of Free! Give-A-Way Starts!

Step right up! Step right up! No matter what ails you we have the cure!
That's right, to a lucky few who are wise enough to obtain Professor L. Ferret's patented, pertinent,  permanent, prescribed potion to unburden the weary woes that is your life.

Stuff!  Stuff my friends.  The tangible tanticularities of the firmament made manifest in your hands.
The sounding stones of the otherwise dubious incertitude of the nature of reality and one's place within.

Stuff.

And it can be yours! Nay, it verily must be yours for the verisimilitude of your peace in existence.
I say this not lightly.  Now, I am no saint.  No sir, no madam. I am but a humble traveler along life's path, blessed with unreasonable good fortune and so I should, no, I must, share this fortune and gift with others.

And so I present you good folk with a chanceful opportunity to receive this elixir of entities of entertainment.
Not for coin, not for dollars nor trade.  I have so much faith in the validity of my claim I offer these oddities freely!

Now, who shall be the first to come forward?

......................................

So I'm not waiting to hit 300 followers, I don't know when that will happen, or if it will, and while I'm close to 500 updates, that's a couple months off I'd expect.  And since the blog hit 200,000 views that seems like a good spot to stop and have a Give-Away!  More of that in a bit, but first, the 200,000 hits analysis:

200,000 Hits! 

If that was 1 hit a year it would go back to the very earliest occurrence of our species! 

First Blogger: 198,000 BCE

200,000 hits: Who's checking in around the globe? 

Just like when I hit 50,000 and 100,000  I also did a bit of digging to find out where the most visits were coming from.

Again, the top 5 countries in (the same as before) order of the most visits was: USA, UK, France, Germany, Australia.  But I don't count raw numbers, it's just not a fair way to do things when some countries have much larger populations.  So, punching numbers for per capita.. the last two times it was: 1.UK, 2.Australia, 3.Denmark

Would it be the same again? Would the home country rise to place, would Australia beat the UK? 

Let's find out!

FIRST PLACE, with an index value of 26:

United Kingdom, for the third time!

SECOND PLACE,with an index value of 25:

New Zealand!  Knocking Australia from her position.

THIRD PLACE, with an index value of 21:

Denmark! Maintaining it's position at 3 for the third time. 

Australia slipped to 4th, followed by Sweden, then Canada, then the US with France just a touch behind. 

I really enjoy finding out all the international visits and hobby goings-on in other places. 

...................................

THE GIVE-AWAY

OK, I promised a contest, so here goes. 

DURATION:

The contest lasts 11 days.  At the end of September 1st, 11:59 PM Pacific time I'll draw it to a close. 

THE PRIZES:

There are 11 items to chose from.  See below for details.

WHO IS ELIGIBLE? 

Anyone who enters. Great if you are a 'follower', but I know some people 'follow' without being a 'follower' because they don't have a google or blogger account.  If you follow by email or by bookmark, that's fine, I'm not here to change how you get about the internet. Winners could be anyone, from friends locally I see fairly regularly to people anywhere on the planet a postal worker can reach: selection is by random chance.

HOW DO I WIN?

You get points for certain things. At the end of the contest I'll add up all the points and generate a random number from the total, if it is one of yours: you win! 

Here's what gets you points:

1 point: Comment on this update. 

1 point: Plug* this contest on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, somewhere else that is appropriate and reference it here in the comments. 

1 point:  In addition to linking to the contest, link to another past update that you like- something you enjoyed or think is useful, interesting, weird, or whatever criteria you have.  Just to get the older stuff noticed again.  Internet & human attention span being what it is, things older than a week tend to get lost, but there could be fun stuff in past updates people hadn't seen. 

* Plug: 

Plug means promote, endorse, refer, link, town-crier, or chicken little it. It does not mean 'pimp'.  

That's a massive pet peeve of mine that I wish would die by fire.  

Pimps are assholes.  Pimps are as low as slavelords. Pimps should have their humanity status revoked.  

The fact this word has come into common usage to mean promote or endorse or make fancy is disgusting. The fact that common culture now seems to admire pimps is repulsive.  Anything that helps make this acceptable I want nothing to do with.  I have nothing against, though no personal interest in, prostitution, but pimps are parasites.  Prostitutes work for a living, they don't abuse and use others as property.  Pimps are not bad because they are associated with prostitution.. they could only aspire to reach such heights: pimps are a rotting fester that sucks the life out of, abuse, and dehumanize human beings. I don't accept taking advantage of other people.

So no 'pimping'. 

If you want to use the word, feel free, it's your right, but if it's associated with this contest all points are lost. 

I know a lot of people use the word without any such intended meaning, so I don't judge people who use it in a casual unthinking way, most who use the term don't give any thought beyond the immediate innocent meaning they intend, but I do think about it, and now I can't help but notice the offensive nature behind it.

The subconscious affect is real, and I'd prefer to not even have a second-hand association with it.

Avoid the word and I'm happy.

Words shape ideas. Ideas shape reality. So I draw the line on that one. 

/soapbox. 

So you can get as many as 3 points.  

I will roll randomly to select at least 3 winners. 

First rolled gets first choice, then second, then third. A person can't win more than one time. 

If there are a lot of entries I may open it up to have more than 3 winners, but there will be at least 3. 

So here are the prizes: 

1. 15mm Sci-Fi transport by GZG (not assembled, pieces placed to show how it looks)

2. Twelve 28mm Mordor Orcs on spru by GW for Lord of the Rings

3. 28mm Blood Bowl Referee (converted & painted by me) and set of Block Dice

4. Six 25mm Pirates by Wargames Foundry

5. Two 28mm Bandidos from Black Scorpion

6. His & Hers 28mm Demon characters from Reaper

7. A whole mess o' dice: wide variety of colors of d6s 2d10, a d16 and a direction die.

(I'll switch out a grey d10 for a second color so they can be used for percentile).

8. The Tolkien Companion. Hardback 531pgs.  A-Z chock full of Tolkien Lore

9. 40k history codex bundle: the first ever codex: Space Wolves (2nd ed), & 3rd ed. ImperialGuard

10. English Reformation. Trade Paperback,367pgs. Lots of info on life during the Tudor times. 

11. The Vampire Encyclopedia. Hardback, 303pgs. A-Z chock full of Vampire Lore.  

Good reference for Horror gaming. 

So 11 choices, hopefully something appealing to everyone. 

Good Luck! 

Tuesday Two Beastmen: Psychedelic Furs Team Intro pt.6

Another Tuesday already,.. I swear they just come faster and faster.

Surprisingly I have managed to put a bit of paint to them- not much.. just a touch in the late hours, but I finished painting the tokens, to test out the armor color, and 5 beastmen have a base color of fur with one initial shading.  There will be a lot of different colored goats, so they'll be done at different rates until the fur is done.   Not much (haven't had time) but it's a start.

So we come to the 6th installment of meet the beastmen, the last for the beastmen players.

So let's meet the players!

At left we have #9 Mena Twork  and at right is #4 Duran, son of Duran. 

Both are rookie Beastmen with no skills of note, but both have taken to the game and caught audiences by storm.  Critics of the game expect great things from both; they've caught the attention of fans from the start.

Mena Twork comes from the deep south tribes of Dow Nunda, where their hooves thunder and their enemies take cover. They do have some foul preferences for sandwich fixings, but they are beastmen. 

Duran Duran comes from the east, across the sea, and though some discount his ability saying his popularity is due to being such an attractive goat, his talent can not be denied. 

We're sure they'll make excellent additions to the team! 

That covers all the beastmen, leaving only Minotaurs and Staff to come! 

So enjoy the personal songs of these two players until then.

A classic. Had to be this song. One of the best songs for Sax in the 80's.

A great song, in a rarely seen format: a small 17 minute movie.

Revolution looks like fun in the 80's ....

Brokentooth's Guide to Goblin Greatness: Gotta Getta Giant!

Now settle down you cackling twits.. I know you enjoyed playing with our rock-throwing Troll... well, except for maybe Skugg.. he's a bit of a smear against that tree, but I don't think his parents cared much for him anyway... no matter. Now's time for one of the most important lessons! Trolls are great there's no doubt, but bigger is better! So..  eh? What is it you? Yes I see your annoying green hand waving like it's on fire.. what?

A small young buck with a bent nose piped, "But I thought you said smaller is better & that size duzn't count!"

What?? Hit your head against the ground you dolt, shake up some sense!  Our size being small doesn't count..of course! But if you think size doesn't count you're dumber than you smell!  Size matters.. bigger tha better! 

Best for size is Giants!  Yo ho fi fum or whatever some say.. Giants are good. Dead good! Get a lot if you can, and keep the Trolls from eat'n their goats, you don't want one too hungry near you. 

"But I thought they'z just real big hyumen.. or dwarvz!  All pink & stinky with long hair out tha top & bottom of their heads.. how can ya trust them?" Asked a sly goblin lass, picking her toenails with a broken arrowhead.

Oh!  Them.. sure, you can use them in a pinch, but they're an odd lot.. no love for the little hyumen and dwarvz, but anything really really big is a giant.  They all do about the same thing.. they stomp, kick, pick up enemy and eats them. No need to be too picky, but I agree ones that don't look like hyumen and dwarvz are best.  

So let's see some and maybe you'll learn something if you remember not to get et.

.....................................

One of the things I was instantly happy about with the Kings of War Goblin army list was the inclusion of Giants.  Giants are fun!  They're not bad in the KoW game either.  They have a bit of randomness that Warhammer players will find familiar, like random attack value, but they're one of the most reliable units in the Goblin Army (take a lot of hits before waver or defeated).  They also hit very hard and pretty accurately, for a Goblin army.  Plus they just look cool. 

See? They look cool.

Giants could look like very big humans, or could be completely different.  They're probably one of the oldest creatures from myth, found in many different cultures.  For Norse Myth they're even more powerful than the Gods...but that might be a bit much for the tabletop if you want any balance to a game. 

I actually have a giant I've already painted, a few years ago, but it isn't exactly right for this army, so I started from scratch, considering the various options.  I decided against the 'really big man' giant concept. Even if they'd be happy to help goblins, I'm not sure goblins would be too comfortable with the arrangement, since they look like even bigger versions of their enemies. 

Considering his hem-line, I hope he's not Scottish.

So that ruled out a lot of the giants that are out there: the various GW giants, Reaper, Black Scorpion, Otherworld, Warploque (Warploque's would be my first choice for the human-giant style). 

So I needed something else, something more 'animal-monster' in style...

Ummm.. maybe not.

Something 'gobliny'. 

I strongly considered the Privateer Press Troll Mountain King, because I'd really love to paint it, but it is a very pricey miniature, and being so very large might make any other giant look like it isn't a giant... maybe someday Kings of War will have even larger monsters, and then I may get one, but for now I'll save the idea and the money. 

I was torn between a final two: Wargods of Olympus Titan and a Reaper Jabberwock.

When left with any hard choice, pick both. So I did. 

Giant #1: The Gubenderf

This guy looks very likely to associate with goblins.

Nothing says a Giant must be a 'Giant Human'... this thing is giant, so it's a Giant.

The Goblins call this breed a Gubenderf. They do this because it can't understand their language, or it may get mad at such a silly name. 'Derf' is the sound a large animal makes as the air leaves it's lungs just moments before the rest of it is flattened when one of these steps on it. 'Guben' is a Goblin word for mealtime.  They're quite fond of the soft meat-paste left behind when one of these steps on an animal. 

Giant #2: The Jibberwog

This guy is such goofy fun he had to be included in a Goblin army!

Goblins call these Jibberwogs because they do make a whole lot of noise, always jibbering to themselves.

The goblins are sure it thinks it is saying something, but they really don't know what.  

Sure, Giants don't fly in the rules, and this guy has wings, but then, so do chickens. 

This is my favorite Jabberwocky miniature, so I was sure I'd find an excuse to use it sooner or later. 

The Giants together:

They're about the same size, with the Jibberwog a bit bigger, but the Gubenderf a lot more solid. 

I'm very happy to have a variety of different creatures.  The rules being the same stats makes no difference. 

Which do you like best? 

That's all for now.  Tomorrow is Tuesday-Two-Beastmen, and sometime later this week I'll likely announce some kind of give-away, since though 300 followers is still aways away, about to hit the 200k view, probably in a few hours, and that might be a good time to do that.  So watch for that soon. 

More Madness to Follow...

Here are some giants having some fun...

Enjoy!