Brokentooth's Guide to Goblin Greatness: Gotta Getta Giant!

Now settle down you cackling twits.. I know you enjoyed playing with our rock-throwing Troll... well, except for maybe Skugg.. he's a bit of a smear against that tree, but I don't think his parents cared much for him anyway... no matter. Now's time for one of the most important lessons! Trolls are great there's no doubt, but bigger is better! So..  eh? What is it you? Yes I see your annoying green hand waving like it's on fire.. what?

A small young buck with a bent nose piped, "But I thought you said smaller is better & that size duzn't count!"

What?? Hit your head against the ground you dolt, shake up some sense!  Our size being small doesn't count..of course! But if you think size doesn't count you're dumber than you smell!  Size matters.. bigger tha better! 

Best for size is Giants!  Yo ho fi fum or whatever some say.. Giants are good. Dead good! Get a lot if you can, and keep the Trolls from eat'n their goats, you don't want one too hungry near you. 

"But I thought they'z just real big hyumen.. or dwarvz!  All pink & stinky with long hair out tha top & bottom of their heads.. how can ya trust them?" Asked a sly goblin lass, picking her toenails with a broken arrowhead.

Oh!  Them.. sure, you can use them in a pinch, but they're an odd lot.. no love for the little hyumen and dwarvz, but anything really really big is a giant.  They all do about the same thing.. they stomp, kick, pick up enemy and eats them. No need to be too picky, but I agree ones that don't look like hyumen and dwarvz are best.  

So let's see some and maybe you'll learn something if you remember not to get et.

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One of the things I was instantly happy about with the Kings of War Goblin army list was the inclusion of Giants.  Giants are fun!  They're not bad in the KoW game either.  They have a bit of randomness that Warhammer players will find familiar, like random attack value, but they're one of the most reliable units in the Goblin Army (take a lot of hits before waver or defeated).  They also hit very hard and pretty accurately, for a Goblin army.  Plus they just look cool. 

See? They look cool.

Giants could look like very big humans, or could be completely different.  They're probably one of the oldest creatures from myth, found in many different cultures.  For Norse Myth they're even more powerful than the Gods...but that might be a bit much for the tabletop if you want any balance to a game. 

I actually have a giant I've already painted, a few years ago, but it isn't exactly right for this army, so I started from scratch, considering the various options.  I decided against the 'really big man' giant concept. Even if they'd be happy to help goblins, I'm not sure goblins would be too comfortable with the arrangement, since they look like even bigger versions of their enemies. 

Considering his hem-line, I hope he's not Scottish.

So that ruled out a lot of the giants that are out there: the various GW giants, Reaper, Black Scorpion, Otherworld, Warploque (Warploque's would be my first choice for the human-giant style). 

So I needed something else, something more 'animal-monster' in style...

Ummm.. maybe not.

Something 'gobliny'. 

I strongly considered the Privateer Press Troll Mountain King, because I'd really love to paint it, but it is a very pricey miniature, and being so very large might make any other giant look like it isn't a giant... maybe someday Kings of War will have even larger monsters, and then I may get one, but for now I'll save the idea and the money. 

I was torn between a final two: Wargods of Olympus Titan and a Reaper Jabberwock.

When left with any hard choice, pick both. So I did. 

Giant #1: The Gubenderf

This guy looks very likely to associate with goblins.

Nothing says a Giant must be a 'Giant Human'... this thing is giant, so it's a Giant.

The Goblins call this breed a Gubenderf. They do this because it can't understand their language, or it may get mad at such a silly name. 'Derf' is the sound a large animal makes as the air leaves it's lungs just moments before the rest of it is flattened when one of these steps on it. 'Guben' is a Goblin word for mealtime.  They're quite fond of the soft meat-paste left behind when one of these steps on an animal. 

Giant #2: The Jibberwog

This guy is such goofy fun he had to be included in a Goblin army!

Goblins call these Jibberwogs because they do make a whole lot of noise, always jibbering to themselves.

The goblins are sure it thinks it is saying something, but they really don't know what.  

Sure, Giants don't fly in the rules, and this guy has wings, but then, so do chickens. 

This is my favorite Jabberwocky miniature, so I was sure I'd find an excuse to use it sooner or later. 

The Giants together:

They're about the same size, with the Jibberwog a bit bigger, but the Gubenderf a lot more solid. 

I'm very happy to have a variety of different creatures.  The rules being the same stats makes no difference. 

Which do you like best? 

That's all for now.  Tomorrow is Tuesday-Two-Beastmen, and sometime later this week I'll likely announce some kind of give-away, since though 300 followers is still aways away, about to hit the 200k view, probably in a few hours, and that might be a good time to do that.  So watch for that soon. 

More Madness to Follow...

Here are some giants having some fun...

Enjoy!

Robot Blood Bowl !

Don't despair coaches!

Pushy players pestering for more pitch time?  Wannabe Stars showboating for the crowd instead of following your plays?  Or maybe you're just tired of players who can't take a boot to the face or chainsaw to the gut but you just can't stomach the smell of zombie?

Have no fear, there's a new solution to ease your woes!

Robot Blood Bowl Players!

Come on down to Scowl Worthleston and his Robot Dog Oil-Spot 's * Robot Emporium!

We'll set you up with a team for a fraction of the high gold prices those fragile meat sack players demand.
Commit to a baker's dozen and we'll throw in a free programmer's manual with time-tested plays like:

* Drive Shaft
* Down Shift
* Assembly Line
and many more.

We also offer maintenance and Baron Sheib paintjobs painting any robot any color for Fifty-nine-ninety-five.

So Come On Down!

* (wonder how many will get that reference)

..........................................

Finished another Blood Bowl team awhile back, and now that the client is back from vacation and seen & approved the team I can show it to all of you.

The team began with the client's concept of a Gnome & Robot team for an Ogre team: Robot Ogres & Gnome snotlings.  But not Red Capped Garden Gnomes.. Steampunk gnomes.  After a lot of searching and some suggestions, none of them really fit what he was after, so I suggested a gnome tinker's team, with all robots: Big & Small. he liked it, I liked it. Just had to find the robots.  Here's what we have:

(click pictures for larger)

ROBOGRES:

An Ogre team can have up to 6 Ogres! So the team of course needs 6! 

All of these are made from the same Privateer Press model, which because it sports a spear & shield is very static.  So I tried to make a variety of poses, with a couple more static, and a few with more movement.  

No Pose too dynamic and crazy though, I wanted to keep the feeling of heavy plodding weight, even when running. Their 'train cow-catcher' face grill seems especially appropriate now.
I'm happy with the differences in poses. 

BOTLINGS:

These are *small*. Just right for strength 1 snotlings.  These are 15mm robots from Khurusan.  

I did a bit of converting: got rid of their wrist guns, sculpted shoulder pads and a couple got poses for running.  It'd be quite easy to use these in 15mm sci-fi skirmish games..heck, the big robots could be used in sci-fi skirmish as well. 

BASES: 

These bases had a lot of thought put into them. 

One of the problems with an Ogre team is that with 6 Ogres with 40mm bases it can get very tight on the board which has 29mm squares! They start pushing neighbors over lines and it can be a real mess. 

So the large minis are on 35mm round bases (just big enough) and the little ones are 22mm round bases. 

This means a small and a big can be next to each other and still fit in the space of 2 squares.  

COACH:

From Reaper.  He seemed just right to coach this team.

TOKENS:

Re-Roll tokens are the square piles of parts: Something went wrong?  the robot likely needs a repair: slap some spare parts and try again!

Because the Robots are so large and placing them down on the pitch when knocked prone or stunned would be a problem, the team has 4 Privateer Press wreck markers: 2 for prone (their eye-lights are still on) 2 for stunned (no eye lights lit).

I am coming to the opinion that every team should have a Star Player or two ready to play on the team to consider the team 'complete'. If in a league, you may well need them!  In a tournament, some encourage them or have such large team value allowed that you can find space for them and it can make a big change to how the team plays, adding a lot of life to playing the team time & again. 

The Ogre team can have 3 different Ogre Stars: Mulg, Bertha, and Brick & Grotty.  The last is actually 2 players for 1: an Ogre & his Goblin buddy. The nice thing about Robots is they could be any Ogre.. even a female, so the team just needs 1 Robot star and it could be any of the 3 as long as there is a goblin-robot too.  So that's what we did.. just needed an even bigger and more dangerous looking robot...

ROBOT STARS:

He's so large he almost couldn't contain himself on the base.  

This robot just screams 'blood bowl' to me.. all those spikes... just imagine having to saddle up to the line opposite this guy and told "don't let him through!"  Yikes!  Time to Retire! 

  

Goblin Star. 

Kind of makes me want to build a whole goblin-robot team!  Hmmm...

And a line-up to see size differences:

The Whole Team:  (click for larger)

The team now joins the others in the Hall of Fame, tab at the top of the blog. 

I really enjoyed painting this team. I had a lot of fun working with metallics, keeping true colors to a minimum.. just a bit of near-white and green other than the ground. And of course the converting is always fun.  I get attached to a lot of teams I make for clients, but this one I especially love.  

Just something about robots. They'll be having fun tearing up the pitch in Austria...wish I could have gone with them.. lucky robots.

I have an idea what their fight song could be... 

Enjoy!

U.N.I.T. Troopers: Doctor Who Project Continued

Next up for the Doctor Who Project: U.N.I.T. Troopers.
In their more modern look of black with red beret.

They'll be transferred to clear plastic disk bases at the end of the project.

I really enjoyed painting these because they're Copplestone Castings minis, which are always a joy to paint.
The minis were selected by the client, and I think he made a great choice: these minis make very good UNIT troops.  Always nice to have a chance to paint Copplestone minis.

In Doctor Who, U.N.I.T. is a modern united nations special forces that have the daunting task of keeping the planet safe from alien invasions and such when the Doctor can't be there.

I always wondered about the red berets.  I know it's historical, going back to WWII British Paratroopers.. maybe earlier? But it does seem to be begging to receive a head-shot.  I think I'd forget mine at home.
Still, it looks cool.

Speaking of Doctor Who... if you see this on the day I publish it, August 16th, 2013, check out Shirt Woot.
There is a pretty fun Doctor Who related shirt.  Their shirts are always cheaper on the first day they put them up (one a day) and costs a bit more after that first 24 hours.. though if they don't sell well enough that first day they're not offered after it. The shirt image:

Can see it here: Don't Blink

Back to U.N.I.T. ...

Here's an amusing recruitment video for U.N.I.T., from 1993 (so none of the more modern stuff).. some of the effects and creatures are pretty funny.  I love the fear of the stegosaurus that  slowly rounds the corner...

Like being afraid of a cow.  Granted, a cow with foot long spikes on it's tail.. but stay calm & away and you should be fine. Not like it's going to come running to eat you.  ;)

Enjoy!

10 Questions for Gamers, Hobbyists & Likewise Interested Folks: This One Goes to 11

You know how these go, but there hasn't been one floating around for awhile (been a year since this one), so I thought I'd try my hand at a list of questions.  To keep it quick and simple, it's a list of 10, hopefully interesting, possibly irrelevant questions.

Though this list of 10 questions goes to 11. 

As always, the interpretation of the question is up to you, so trust your instincts.

What will it reveal about you?  Nothing the NSA probably doesn't already know, so have at it!

1. Dinosaurs or Dragons?

2.  In an RPG would u rather be a Player or DM?

3. You have a Time Machine: you can only take a trip to the future or the past. Return or not is your choice.  Which direction & how far? 

4. Favorite Online Comic

5. Of these Empires which do you feel is the BEST Empire and the WORST Empire? 

Roman, Mongol, Spanish, Russian, British, American. 

How you define Best and Worst is up to you.  

If you're feeling up to it, rank them from best to worst 1-6. 

6. Who wins the fight?  Roman Gladiator or Samurai ? 

7. Who wins the fight?  Darth Vader or Witch King? 

8. Who wins the dogfight?   Starbuck in Colonial Vyper or Luke Skywalker in X-Wing? 

9. Who wins the battle of wits? Tyrion Lannister or Wesley? 

10. Money & Time no object, what movie or novel would you like to have the armies and terrain in miniature to recreate and expand on, and in what scale?

11. Human Beings die off. What species rises to take our place, becoming the next sentient species with a global civilization? 

It will be fun to hear your answers. Feel free to share, direct others, add to the list yourself, etc.

And if you didn't catch the "11" reference.. Enjoy!

Tuesday Two Beastmen: Psychedelic Furs Blood Bowl Intro pt.5

What the hell?  Really?  Another Tuesday already? Has Slaanesh had me under some kind of trance?
Because it sure doesn't feel like a week since the last update.  Speaking of Slaanesh.. am I the only one who's thought there should be a god "Slannesh" two N's? Like Slann... a big Frog dressed up in domination outfit? Daemonettes of Slannesh... sexy frog girls with claws. Awwesome.  I'll do it someday.

Alright, I'm stalling.  I have had zero progress on the team.  Just too busy with work (having fun with Doctor Who mostly and the last part of a Blood Bowl team that came before that project) and stressing on the prospect that I may have to move (not out of the country unfortunately... Inka's still trying to get here, but we may give up and find somewhere else if possible) ... the idea of moving is daunting not just because of the wasted time in the moving process, or the money, but having to pack up a dedicated miniatures studio is not a fun proposition.
So hopefully that won't happen.

So on to the team!

This is the 5th update, 2 at a time, that means 10 players introduced... only 2 more beastmen to show, then the minotaur & the staff. If you hadn't noticed, all the beastmen names start with a different letter. I started with A, then B, then C (I'm sure this likely sounds familiar) I dropped sticking to each letter after some time, skipping ahead to other letters for other 80's band names. But alphabetical naming is a trick I use when I have a lot of the same type players: it helps remember which player is which and has what skill.

At left is #8 Kaja Googoo and at right is #7 Inxs.

Kaja is known on the pitch as a slippery player.  He favors a less head-on approach, ducking out of the grasp of opposing players...some tease him saying "doesn't want to play bash? What, is he too shy?" But he doesn't let that bother him.. someday he'll be a star receiver, he's sure.  He has no skills for the tournament, but that won't stop him from taking chances with the dice!

Inxs has developed an extra arm, in excess of the two required to play.  The apothecary says it's nothing to worry about, and may even help him perform better!  He has the 'Extra Arm' skill for the tournament.  Maybe 'sure hands' would have been better, but I couldn't resist the mutation.
 .. the extra arm is a conversion of course. a GW ungor arm with a mantic zombie hand. The number of fingers is different, which I like.. it's a touch more creepy that way.

Welcome to the team boys!  Before joining the herd, we'll let you enjoy your personal songs.

Enjoy!

Brokentooth's Guide to Goblin Greatness: Making Use of Trolls, pt.1

So so young warriors. Next lesson! Who knows what makes us more powerful than Orcs eh?

The pack of goblin scrappers looked around confused... one piped up.."uh, we aint?"

Pah! We are! Sure we're smaller, sure they're big strong brutes, but we have bigger friends and more of them!  Trolls!  And Giants, and half-trolls... Jibberwogs, Gurbenderfs.. and such.  Orcs have some now and then, but not many.. gives em complexes.  See, Orcs so used to being so big & strong, they don't like anything around that makes them feel small.  Makes em uncomturblin. They're very sensitive about such things.. bc they're much small than goblins in the way that counts.. they've got very, very small...brains.

"Ahhh" snickered the rabble of goblins.

Anything that reminds em that they're not so big or biggest puts em off, so Trolls and more come to work for us!  And why not? We're smarter and more clever, can find good uses for them.

Mostly Trolls you'll want to send into the big mobs of big folk, send them flying.. always a good laugh.  And against their knights!  Horses are right scared of Trolls. But Trolls can serve other purposes.  One of my greatest discoveries was realizing that Trolls love to eat goat more than anything else!  But goats fight back, and their horns are right where the most sensitive troll-bits are, so Trolls are reluctant to attack them straight out.  Some hide under bridges, but goats don't cross bridges as often as they used to, so now they tend to throw rocks at them.  Keep a safe distance and smash em good.

Now all we have to do is tell the Trolls the enemy are protecting goats and they're very happy to throw rocks at them all day! Just remember to feed them some goat after the battle or you might get et yourself!

So...let's meet one of my prize rock-throwers! Which of you wants to go for a ride?

......................................

I mentioned in the last Brockentooth's update that I'd show a catapult, but that it might surprise you.  

We'll see if it does. 

TROLLAPULT !

I like the idea of goblins with engines of war, but I couldn't resist something a bit different.  

Goblins are clever.  They're also lazy.  Much easier to get a troll to throw a rock than make a machine and have to lift the rocks yourself to load it! 

I had this Heresy Troll for awhile, without a clear purpose, and glad I hadn't used him before for anything else. He's a big brute. That's a 50mm Square base he's on. 

Ready... aim....

Another nice thing is I could use this as a catapult, or as a lone Troll or maybe even a Giant.  He's bigger than a troll, bit smaller than a giant, so it's a very flexible addition to the Goblin Army. 

I have another similar fellow I'll show later in the week.  I also did break down and order a catapult, which I'll show when I get it and do a review of it.  Looking forward to that. 

Speaking of Trolls and their hunger, for goat or anything else, Melanie from No, Really, You Can Eat It! (and if there was ever a motto for a troll that's got to be it) is having a contest! More blogging freebies? Count me in! Edible?  Even better!  So that was her link there, go check it out, get some recipes and post in her comments so you can get counted for the contest and tell her I sent you, so I get counted too! 

She's also a nearly daily source of great Cat Pictures.  My Cats approve. 

So Go Enter! 

More Goblin Madness to Follow!

Enjoy Colbert's Troll Story (skip to 3:30 to just view that)  Enjoy!

The Colbert Report
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Have Companion, Will Travel. Ongoing Doctor Who Project

Here is the first part of an ongoing Doctor Who project for a client.
As a fan of Doctor Who.. as much as I have loved the new series, especially the last 2 Doctors and find the depth of the linked storyline far improved, part of me will always root it all in the Tom Baker era I watched as a kid.. I'm very happy to be working on a project like this.

There will be minis from Heresy, Crooked Dice and Copplestone Castings.. all great minis producers.

So let's start with some companions.

The bases are not done since they'll be transferred to clear plastic disks later. 

It's a bit more challenging when trying to recreate a real person.

Time-traveling around the universe with beautiful women.. yeah, Life's rough Doctor. 

More to come.