Aslan's Asskickers Make it to Playoffs: Game Report

Jim: Welcome back to another night of Blood Bowl! 

Bob: That's my favorite type of night Jim!  One with lots of violence!

Jim: Indeed Bob!  But not just that, this is one of the games to decide who will go on to play for the Winter Deathbowl Cup.  

Bob: That sounds tough Jim!  So how'd these gentle forest creatures get in?  They didn't have much luck recently if I remember right.

Jim:  By the skin of their teeth Bob... they come in 4th in standing I believe, riding on their early success. 

If they don't bring back some of that magic they may find themselves on the endangered species list Bob!

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Last week we had the playoff games for the Winter Blood Bowl League.  Sunday gives me a small window to post something other than an A-Z post, so seems a good time to report on the game.  

The top teams are two Chaos Dwarf teams and a Dwarf team and my Narnia Pact team for the 'wild card' positions.  Needless to say, that means I was playing against Chaos Dwarves!

My Opponent, the favored team, was the rebuilt Hashut's Forge.  

You may remember this team as my opponent from the second match, where I so brutalized them they were disbanded and a new team was hired to wear their jerseys.  Since then, I'd had a string of less favorable results and he had a string of victories, so this match was for payback!

The Forge has had some great development:

A Centaur with Strength 5 and a Blodging Centaur! Yikes!  With 2 guarding dwarves and a spare Hobgoblin it is a pretty well rounded team.  The weak spot I see is that it has just 2 rerolls.  But he got 80k in inducements off me and chose to take a journeyman Hobgoblin... 13 players to my 11. 

He wins the fame roll, I win the coin toss and elect to receive: I must do some hurt on him before I score.

I set up to do some hurting.  My agility 4, sure-hands faun keeps the ball back safely while I try to pound. 

I manage to knock down 2 dwarves, but no armor breaks and my Elk goes 'wild animal'.. not a good start.

Turn 2 he knocks down all 3 of my big guys!  Uh-oh, this isn't starting out at all like our first game.  

I send my Ferret deep, just in case. 

I get back up, but it's like 2 brick walls butting heads: sounds loud, looks scary, but nothing happens.

He sends a Hobgoblin to foul the Ferret: no damage and is ejected!  Good eyes Ref! 

The Ferret then spends time staying away from a pesky dwarf.  With a relatively clear field on my right I get ready for a passing play.

Turn 6, no threats in sight, I pass to the elf, Jennifer Cricket, who catches the ball and heads down field. 

From here I stall during turn 7, fearing the ball carrying speed of the centaurs, to leave him with just 1 turn to score.  I crowd surf a dwarf, but the crowd treats him kindly.  I then safely walk it in to score on my turn 8.  

That's the good news, the bad news? Only 1 of his players is out, and that's the hobgobling who got himself ejected for fouling.  I don't think I broke armor once.

With just 1 turn before the half I set up with the "Not in the Face" formation.  The three fauns are kicked around and one is treated to a +4 assist pitch stomping foul, but he survives fine.  The Ref is blind. Sheesh. 

Half ends 1-0 with no injuries, no knock outs and one Hobgoblin ejected.

My plan now: steal the ball.  He has to try to score fast while inflicting damage as much as possible so that he has a good chance to get the ball away from me to win 2-1.  We know there are no ties in a play-off. 

Knowing he has to score fast I have to steal the ball when he tries, to either score or just keep the ball away.

I kick to the center (still don't have anyone with kick) it's a Quick snap: the hob doesn't catch it: we're off.

He cages up, then engages, to damage my less-armored players.

This is where his dice catch fire.  He must have done a prayer to some lava god... actually he started using a physical action to bring 'luck' to his dice that I'd rather not describe.  

I hope he doesn't play Blood Bowl against his mother with those dice.  

Yet, you can't argue the results: 

His Minotaur blitzes my bear, breaks her armor and hurts her!  Ursula is injured! It's a miss next game, which won't affect the finals, should I make it, but it's too early in the half: I need her strength, so I take the chance and use the apotho: it's good! She is cured and takes the bench, ready to come back to play for the next available set up. 

I then Blitz with the Elk: Double Skulls! Try to reroll: Loner? Loner! Stay Down!  Ouch!

Luckily he didn't hurt himself.

In his reply he then Knocks Out the Ferret, then he pushes a faun off the field, and the crowd kills him! 

This overly friendly relationship with his dice seems to be paying off. 

This is not looking good, the animal shelter is filling up fast! 

I try to get at his ball carrying Hobgoblin:

But my Elk is ganged up on, knocked down, and will be fouled to a stun by a Hobgoblin.  

The elf makes a double go for it to 1 die blitz the hob, but gets a push. 

When next available I call a blitz with the Elk, but fail the wild animal and he stays down. 

They knock the elf down, and a faun, stunning them and head down the field.  Things aren't looking so good!

Tadd Pohl, the frog makes a valiant effort to slow them down: He weaves between the enemy team, making 4 dodges to harass the hobgoblin. 

But he's smacked by the centaur and the hobgoblin continues his advance in the clear.

Only the faun Mr. Hodgensworth is anywhere near enough to stop the hobgoblin.  

But rather than score, he stalls.  

I suppose it is because with a number advantage he wants to remove more of my players so that when overtime happens I have fewer players: also, fewer turns as overtime won't kick in until the end of turn 16. 

Mr. Hodgensworth gets in a position to threaten the hobgoblin.

Instead of scoring, he guards up the hobgoblin with the centaurs.  I figured this was more stalling, knowing at best I'd have a 1 die block, and he'd be in a position to smack me silly then walk it in with a centaur or hobgoblin if it wasn't injured.  I found out later this was a big tactical error on his part: He was thinking I couldn't move through the end zone.  

He wasn't sure why he was thinking that, maybe because the hobgoblin can't without it counting as a score?  Maybe this is what happens when someone has too frequent unnatural intimacy with their dice. 

 

Yes, it is shocking. 

I called a blitz, rolled my one die and got the pow! 

The hobgoblin goes down!  He's hurt! Fractures his skull: -1 Armor value! 

I dodge out, move back in, roll to pick up the ball at a -1: got it!  

This is when I discover his misconception about the end zone.  But to go back would mean changing a lot of his players moves.  I offered to let him count it as if he walked it in and set up for my receiving and eventual overtime (just 1 more turn left at this point), but he said no, it was his mistake he'd play it. With my faun then knocked down, the crowd throwing the ball way down field, no hobgoblin left on the field, no rerolls: tries to pick up the ball with a dwarf, fails, and that's the game. 

The game ends 1-0 in my favor.  The Aslan's Asskickers win the game and will go on to the finals.

I'll be playing the other Chaos Dwarf team: Little Damn Stunties, who beat their lawful cousins 3-0.

My elf got a skill roll. I was really hoping for a blodging elf, but considering all the tackle and armor on the Chaos Dwarf team, I opted instead for the mutation and took Claw! 

Tune in Next Saturday for the Cup Match!