Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Blood Bowl Celestial Scrum Game 3 Report: Mystic Knights of the Congo Bongo

Welcome back for the last game of the Hedge Wizard Celestial Invitational Blood Bath.
To recap, the team of the Apes, The Mystic Knights of the Congo Bongo battled Skaven in both Game 1 and Game 2.  With a win against one and a loss against the other, the Apes would just like to see anything other than a rodent.  They got their wish.

Game 3 pitted the noble Apes against the world's most pompous race:Elves. Unfortunately, they might have valid reasons for being pompous.  I didn't write their team name down, so in honor of their fairly famous coach, I'm going to say the team was The Rooty-Tooty Fresh n' Zooty Rioters. I'm pretty sure that was it.

The Elves (or 'Pro' Elves) are one of my favorite teams.  Their catchers are just a touch slower than Wood Elves to start, since they don't come with sprint, and their Blitzers are not the gods of the pitch like the Wardancers, but the Blitzers are fun, starting with side-step, makes them hard to contain and allows them to play more safely near the sidelines.  The linemen move 6 instead of 7, but that's plenty good for a lineman, and saving 10k per player is a big advantage for purchasing more positional players. The best thing about the team though is that their catchers are strength 3 (not 2 like Wood Elves) and start with a doubles skill! Nerves of Steel.  That makes them -in my opinion- the absolute best 2-turn Touch Down team.

My opponent, who handles NAF registration in the area had a box of some of the older Blood Bowl dice, and I couldn't resist re-upping early to get a set of yellow block dice, to match my Ape's team color of banana yellow.  I'm a sucker for accessorizing.

The Rooty-Tooty Fresh n' Zooty Rioters had 12 players (didn't expect that in an Elf team!) -actually I was outnumbered in every game I played. They had a Thrower with leader, two Blitzers, I think one was a blodger and another had frenzy, and two throwers, a kicker, and a Star Player! Eldril Sidewinder!
This star is basically a super catcher!  He has an impressive skill that lets him glamour an opposing player- having the same effect as 'Bone Head'... I suspect he flashes those pearly whites and the target just swoons.. female, male or ape.

I won the Fame roll and the coin toss- and facing another fast scoring team, I elected to kick to him.
Here you can see my new (old) yellow dice... so cool.  The elves were sporting orange uniforms and yellow hair, so I had hopes Doc Zaius might sneak past them unnoticed!
All set up I kick and not for the first time I doubted my choice of giving the line-chimp Naas T. Habits 'Dirty Player' for fouling instead of kick.
The ball kicked, it lands deep and in the center.  I hope my net holds as well as the Elves' Aqua Net.
Eldril Glamoured Mugambo, not that it was needed- on his turn he promptly Bone-headed out, as I've come to expect.  I did knock a couple elves down who were waiting for the pass, but I couldn't get them all.
Still, if he threw the ball, I had a couple to try to intercept, but all those tackle zones mean nothing to a catcher with Nerves of Steel. Anyone else would catch at -3 for that elf's position, but he'll ignore it and catch on a 2+!  Needless to say, he did catch it, dodged out and scored.
Start to worry now if you haven't already! Score 0-1
He then kicked to me and I started my plan for the elves: only Blitzers have armor 8, all others have squishy armor 7.  If I could remove some players I might stand a chance. Apes start pounding!
I cracked some armor, and protected Rainforest Gump who carried the ball, as best I could.
Once the elves were separated from each other, and down to start, limiting their movement, it became easier to smack them down again if they tried to get up. Gump parked down near the end zone and waited while his mates enjoyed some good thrashing.  I know these elves can score in their sleep in 2 turns, so I wanted to wait until he didn't have 2 turns, and remove as many as possible.
Eldril worried me, so Naas T. Habits fouled him.. broke armor and sent him to the knock out box!
Now, fouling can get a player kicked out for the whole game, if the referee sees the foul.  If.
Luckily the Ref was busy eating a banana at the time and was deaf to the pleas of the Elves.

Encouraged by this result, the Apes went into a bit of a frenzy, as apes are wont to do. They pushed one out into the crowd, who beat him bloody: no more game for him! In fact, the Apes started tossing elves around like rag dolls.  I can't lie, it was pretty fun. Vatos by himself inflicted 2 injuries on the elves.

But the real star was Naas T. Habits, the Dirty Chimp! He unleashed his full fouling, jumping on every elf head he could reach.  He injured 2 elves this way!  And he didn't stop there, he stunned another and finally the Ref decided enough was enough, and ejected him.

But Naas T. Habits more than paid for his 70k value... he got a 200k Star Player out for (what would be) most of the game, and injured a 130k Blitzer & 60k Line-elf.

The Elves managed to drag themselves to where they might pose a threat to Rainforest Gump, so against my own better judgement, I decided to score on turn 7, which would give Eldril two chances to recover from his knock out.  Score 1-1.
That's 5 elves removed from the game and the star in the Knock Out Box, where he stayed for the next drive

My only removed player: Naas T. Habits grinning at the Ref.  
Good thing the Ref doesn't know that to a chimp a smile is a threat. 

At the second half, the Apes got a free re-roll from the kick off result.  Happy to see Eldril comfy in his trailer demanding his bowl of only-green M&M's peeled as befitting his status, the apes were in no hurry to give him a chance to come back: more pounding was what was called for here.  
Look, Elves can play Possum!  Nah, I'm kidding.  They're hurting. Inka-Martishka felt it was her turn to carry the ball, and there were plenty of Gorillas to protect her. 
There she goes! Happily waiving to her fans as she dances around, near, but not over, the score-line. 

I had kept up the fouling, though to only stun results, and got both the wrestlers ejected.  
Still though, I had twice as many on the field, and at any given time 1-2 elves were stunned.  
They'd get up, try to dodge away, fall and i'd pound them again. 
I was really starting to feel bad about all this.  The elves had no real chance in this situation.  

The last few elves just stubbornly hung on, so on turn 7 I made the decision to score.  I set up for a 3 die block frenzy blitz on the last elf Blitzer, but didn't injure him.  I could have set up a wall, and waited till turn 8 to score, I wasn't much worried about the odd chance of an elf blitz dodging through 3 tackle zones for a go-for it hit, not when I have 6 others nearby to get the ball back and score, with ample rerolls. But you can only do this so long when it starts to feel bad.  

Funny bit- there was a kid (maybe 5 or 6 years old?) watching the game now and then, asking questions- he looked around the pitch, asked which were on which team, and said "There are not many elves left on the field".  I nearly died.  Yes, not many elves left, and that's not really the kindest thing to point out ;) 
So I scored on turn 7.   2-1.

Eldril finally came back to play after his pedicure had dried.  Just 4 players, but elves can do amazing things with the thinnest numbers.  I kicked, he went in. Unfortunately I didn't get the catcher down.  His thrower ran the ball, handed to the Blitzer who ran, made a quick toss to the catcher, which I failed to intercept, and he dodged out and scored.   

Final score: Tie 2-2.

Every kindness is properly rewarded for what it is: Foolishness.  ;)

But honestly it made it a much better game, he had a slim chance, took it and made it.  Pretty cool.  
Obviously Elves can take this kind of punishment and still be a viable team.  
My opponent took the stall-beating very well.  Many coaches would not remain so collected from a lot less.

The elves suffered 8 injuries in this game: 5 from beatings, 1 from the crowd and 2 from fouls.
That puts Naas T. Habits as my choice for MVP of the match.  
I stopped doubting my choice of Dirty Player!

Over the tournament, Zaius made just 2 completions, all Blitzers made 1 casualty, though Vatos made 5! 
Rainforest Gump made 3 Touch Downs, Inka-Martishka made 2 Touch Downs, a completion and an interception, Mogambo made 1 casualty, the Line-chimp Violet Love made 1 casualty and Naas T. Habits made 2 casualties from fouls (not worth star player points, but vital!) only Owen Lee A. Ladd didn't make any SPP or notable fouls, but his wrestling I'm sure played a part.  A pretty well rounded team result. 

For awards, I got best painted and most casualties.  

There is talk about the North American Team Championship: a tournament where 4-player teams will compete against other teams, a lot like some of the big events in Europe. It sounds very fun, so some of us are considering going, possible themes for the team, etc.  Sounds like fun to me! 

Enjoy the closing-out song, in honor of the Elves...


Anne said...

Don't be so hard on Magumbo-he's doing the best he can! Naas T. Habits is my favorite player though. So did any of your boys fling poo. Get some of that in Eldrils coiffure and he'll go running home to his mommy in tears.

Hey, we get our dwarves this month. You have to post yours first because I'm so much better than you as a painter that you'd be too embarrassed to follow me!!

styx said...

Let the Monkey win R2!

Serious, great win there...I love the theme.

M R Lee said...

Hahahaha.. loved this report.. again all I could imagine were the apes.. not the human counterparts they were representing here.

Great fouling options, though I guess you could have gone for the win with another stall tactic near the end there. But again, if you had fun, then that is all that matters! Congrats on the best painted and most casualties awards!

Tomsche said...

Next time, pound the 5 year old as well then ;-)

Just kidding, great read, great sportmanship

Michael Awdry said...

Another cracking game and I'm amazed at the score given the demolition of the elves! I feel greatness is only a dice roll away for the mighty Knights.

Laughing Ferret said...

Anne: True, I like Mugambo, I think he just got confused- he didn't face any other Big Guys, only strength 3 players. He probably wasn't sure why he was there, waiting for a more worthy adversary. I would love an actual 'fling-poo' player for an ape team. Kind of like the goblin bomber, but throws poo instead! Rules? hmm.. If hit by Poo, the player must make a 'reverse agility roll' at +1, or leave the pitch to the reserves box so he can clean up.. why 'reverse agility'? so that elves only succeed on 1-2, where something like a Troll would succeed on a 1-4.. higher agility players tend to be more 'refined' and wouldn't play with poo on them, but lower agility.. trolls, ogres, dwarves- either wouldn't care or are more stoic and tough it out. The poo-lobber would have to roll a d6 each time- on a 1 he's kicked off the field, but just to the reserves box, since the Ref isn't sure how to rule it- it isn't a foul, not a secret weapon, just, gross ;)

I have a whole lot of painting projects coming up, so I suspect we'll see your finished dwarves before mine.

Thanks Styx :)

MRLee: For me too, they really felt like an *ape* team, I wasvery happy about that.

Thanks Tomsche! That kid cracked me up, he couldn't have salted the wound more if I'd paid him :) Not sure what age Tact kicks in, but clearly not by 5 or 6.

Michael: Seriously, how many elves is too few to no longer be a scoring threat? I think it is 1.

Scott said...

I think if I had been you I would have flattened every elf you could till there was none left...

Each team has its strength and weakness, and you just have to exploit an mismatches, IF you are playing to win...

You are making me want to break out my Dark Elf Team... when I used to play (many years ago) I had an amazing witch elf that used to just about back flip her way across the pitch, in and out of tackle zones, catching anything for a streak to the end zone...until she got "peaked", by a pissed off regular dwarf opponent... I'll have to dig them out and stick some pics on my blog...

Laughing Ferret said...

I sure tried Scott :) the last few turns I hit every elf that stood up until it went down again and then fouled... but those last few stubbornly held on and refused to go to the knock out box. Until turn 7 when it started to hurt me as much as the elves to keep punching them ;)

It would have been nice if I'd faced a strength team, so I could have played the other method with the team more, but in all three cases I was the slower, less agile one.

Dark elves were one of the first teams I played- really enjoyed them- and they're an even better team now. Twice the blitzers and the runners (replacing the thrower) is an unusual piece. Plus they can field assassins normally now, stabbing daggers don't count as secret weapons. Good anti-wardancer piece: Blodger? just stab it.

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed the recap of all three games. It was really fun to read about the Mystic Knights taking the field. Hope they fair better in the future.

Dan said...

Nice set of reports, Mr. L. Ferret. It's too bad that the Apes will no doubt have to retire and make way for your next team. ;-)

The elves had to make ~5-6 die rolls (depending on if he needed 1 or 2 GFI's) in order to tie the game on the last turn. Even when you get pounded for 12 out of 16, it feels good to clinch that unlikely TD, so Kudos to the Elf coach.

Also, the official name of the tournament was the "Celesticon Junior Colleges of Magic" (some subtle Warhammer humor there). Stop making up silly names, this is serious business! :-p

Paul of the Man Cave said...

Well endings like that are what dreams and Blood Bowl matches are made of - and frankly it s the possibility that such plays can come off that keeps one's heart in the mouth all the way to the end.

And I vote Naas T. Habits as MVP for the tourney based on that match!

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