Brokentooth's Guide to Goblin Greatness: Gotta Getta Giant!

Now settle down you cackling twits.. I know you enjoyed playing with our rock-throwing Troll... well, except for maybe Skugg.. he's a bit of a smear against that tree, but I don't think his parents cared much for him anyway... no matter. Now's time for one of the most important lessons! Trolls are great there's no doubt, but bigger is better! So..  eh? What is it you? Yes I see your annoying green hand waving like it's on fire.. what?

A small young buck with a bent nose piped, "But I thought you said smaller is better & that size duzn't count!"

What?? Hit your head against the ground you dolt, shake up some sense!  Our size being small doesn't count..of course! But if you think size doesn't count you're dumber than you smell!  Size matters.. bigger tha better! 

Best for size is Giants!  Yo ho fi fum or whatever some say.. Giants are good. Dead good! Get a lot if you can, and keep the Trolls from eat'n their goats, you don't want one too hungry near you. 

"But I thought they'z just real big hyumen.. or dwarvz!  All pink & stinky with long hair out tha top & bottom of their heads.. how can ya trust them?" Asked a sly goblin lass, picking her toenails with a broken arrowhead.

Oh!  Them.. sure, you can use them in a pinch, but they're an odd lot.. no love for the little hyumen and dwarvz, but anything really really big is a giant.  They all do about the same thing.. they stomp, kick, pick up enemy and eats them. No need to be too picky, but I agree ones that don't look like hyumen and dwarvz are best.  

So let's see some and maybe you'll learn something if you remember not to get et.

.....................................

One of the things I was instantly happy about with the Kings of War Goblin army list was the inclusion of Giants.  Giants are fun!  They're not bad in the KoW game either.  They have a bit of randomness that Warhammer players will find familiar, like random attack value, but they're one of the most reliable units in the Goblin Army (take a lot of hits before waver or defeated).  They also hit very hard and pretty accurately, for a Goblin army.  Plus they just look cool. 

See? They look cool.

Giants could look like very big humans, or could be completely different.  They're probably one of the oldest creatures from myth, found in many different cultures.  For Norse Myth they're even more powerful than the Gods...but that might be a bit much for the tabletop if you want any balance to a game. 

I actually have a giant I've already painted, a few years ago, but it isn't exactly right for this army, so I started from scratch, considering the various options.  I decided against the 'really big man' giant concept. Even if they'd be happy to help goblins, I'm not sure goblins would be too comfortable with the arrangement, since they look like even bigger versions of their enemies. 

Considering his hem-line, I hope he's not Scottish.

So that ruled out a lot of the giants that are out there: the various GW giants, Reaper, Black Scorpion, Otherworld, Warploque (Warploque's would be my first choice for the human-giant style). 

So I needed something else, something more 'animal-monster' in style...

Ummm.. maybe not.

Something 'gobliny'. 

I strongly considered the Privateer Press Troll Mountain King, because I'd really love to paint it, but it is a very pricey miniature, and being so very large might make any other giant look like it isn't a giant... maybe someday Kings of War will have even larger monsters, and then I may get one, but for now I'll save the idea and the money. 

I was torn between a final two: Wargods of Olympus Titan and a Reaper Jabberwock.

When left with any hard choice, pick both. So I did. 

Giant #1: The Gubenderf

This guy looks very likely to associate with goblins.

Nothing says a Giant must be a 'Giant Human'... this thing is giant, so it's a Giant.

The Goblins call this breed a Gubenderf. They do this because it can't understand their language, or it may get mad at such a silly name. 'Derf' is the sound a large animal makes as the air leaves it's lungs just moments before the rest of it is flattened when one of these steps on it. 'Guben' is a Goblin word for mealtime.  They're quite fond of the soft meat-paste left behind when one of these steps on an animal. 

Giant #2: The Jibberwog

This guy is such goofy fun he had to be included in a Goblin army!

Goblins call these Jibberwogs because they do make a whole lot of noise, always jibbering to themselves.

The goblins are sure it thinks it is saying something, but they really don't know what.  

Sure, Giants don't fly in the rules, and this guy has wings, but then, so do chickens. 

This is my favorite Jabberwocky miniature, so I was sure I'd find an excuse to use it sooner or later. 

The Giants together:

They're about the same size, with the Jibberwog a bit bigger, but the Gubenderf a lot more solid. 

I'm very happy to have a variety of different creatures.  The rules being the same stats makes no difference. 

Which do you like best? 

That's all for now.  Tomorrow is Tuesday-Two-Beastmen, and sometime later this week I'll likely announce some kind of give-away, since though 300 followers is still aways away, about to hit the 200k view, probably in a few hours, and that might be a good time to do that.  So watch for that soon. 

More Madness to Follow...

Here are some giants having some fun...

Enjoy!